wow, for all the jobs i've ever taken up, i have never failed to screw things up..and i think maybe this is by far the worst? ok, i dont know...it will be on par with uip's losing the damn movie tickets...

i hate it when i screw things up, because then i get less motivated and less confident of myself. i hate it when the only consolation i can give myself is : im not cut-out to be an employee, i am to become my own boss. come on......if you screw things up badly like me, there is no other consolation..seriously..just go naturally to self-denial mode.

im currently waiting for my boss' reply to my mistake and alright, it is one consolation that she is not in front of me to kick my ass and stuff my face with chili powder..but..its bad enough. life always gets you....damn..WHY! i just feel like burying myself in my own coffin, and then not come to work at all. i wish she would reply and say: please dont come back to work tmr... it will be a blessing......

now im going to be mentally prepared whenever i have a new job because i know i will screw something up.........i suck. i am sooooo angry with myself i cannot stand it!

i hate all these working things. beh..